Guest author: Sara Perla from Catholic Match Institute
“Man cannot live without love.”
Let’s begin with a quote from Pope St. John Paul II’s first encyclical, Redemptor Hominis. It begins with one of those classic pull-outs: “Man cannot live without love.” It is so simple, deceivingly so, and striking. Man cannot live without love. Why not? This must mean that every person in the world is loved. Pope Benedict XVI echoed this when he said, “Each of us is willed, each of us is loved, each of us is necessary.” Pope Francis tweeted: “The love of God is not generic. God looks with love upon every man and woman, calling them by name.” This forms the basis for all of our discussions about the family, the place in which we are brought into being. We are loved; not only by our parents but most fundamentally by God. We have come into this world not for anyone else’s sake, but for our own. We are loved, because we are.
On a subjective and experiential level, though, we also need to know love. As Pope St. John Paul II continues, “He remains a being that is incomprehensible for himself, his life is senseless, if love is not revealed to him, if he does not encounter love, if he does not experience it and make it his own, if he does not participate intimately in it.”
I have been pretty spoiled in love. My parents raised me and my brother in a loving home where they went on date nights and allowed us a lot of freedom to explore our own interests. Even when I went through the teenage years of confusion and angst, slamming doors and crying on my bed, I never doubted that my parents loved me. As an adult I can see that this fact is not one I should take for granted. It is a gift that my life was never “incomprehensible” or “senseless” because of simple things my parents did to show their love for me. My mom would pick me up from school with chicken nuggets that I could munch on the way home, and my dad would take off work to come to school assemblies when I was going to sing. Pope Francis told the Extraordinary Consistory of Cardinals in February: “We are called to make known God’s magnificent plan for the family.” I’m thankful that my parents showed me this plan in action. “Man cannot live without love.”
What about the people who haven’t experienced the kind of love that St. John Paul II is talking about? If we haven’t received that love in the family, how can we find it now?
There is a certain amount of brokenness in every family, no matter how hard the people try to love one another. The kind of love that St. John Paul II was talking about is the love of God, not merely human love, and this love is available to all of us in infinite measure!
I’m a huge advocate of counseling. There are many good therapists out there who can help people to work through and heal some of the wounds that may otherwise be obstacles to experiencing God’s love in their lives.
I’m a huge advocate of counseling. There are many good therapists out there who can help people to work through and heal some of the wounds that may otherwise be obstacles to experiencing God’s love in their lives.
I think we shouldn’t overcomplicate things: do you see a middle-aged man sitting by himself at Mass behind you every Sunday? Notice him. Smile. Introduce yourself. There’s a man in his 70s who passed me a holy card one Saturday morning at Mass because he thought I looked down that day. It was so kind that I kept it even though I have approximately 5000 holy cards I never look at. I think that big gestures are nice but most Catholics are forgetting to do the small, simple things that make a difference.
What is the best way to discover God’s individual love for me?
Prayer, of course! You probably won’t experience God’s love unless you let Him love you, and notice when He’s doing it. Prayer attunes your heart to God’s wavelength, if you will. It reminds you that He’s always there, and in time it lets you see how He’s working in all sorts of ways in your life. I have a friend who felt loved by God in a profoundly personal way when she saw a pair of green high-heeled shoes in a shop window. That’s not me at all, but I could appreciate the fact that God used shoes to let her know He was there for her. I experience His love most strongly in the first hints of spring and sunshine. Find some silence, preferably before the Eucharist, to soak up some love of the Father.
What is the best way to discover God’s individual love for me?
- Make a resolution to simply notice at least one person at Mass this Sunday that you’ve never noticed before.
- If you feel like you haven’t experienced God’s love deeply, or if it’s simply been a while since you felt close to God, take a little time to ask yourself why that might be, and whether it might be a good idea to talk to someone about it.
- What’s your prayer routine? Shake it up a little this week. Do something a little different; find a new saint to make friends with, or add the Serenity prayer to your lunch break.