Posted on April 1, 2016
Some people have recurring nightmares. I have recurring daydreams. One of these 
daydreams is about what it would be like have a conversation with God after I die. I imagine Him walking with me through my life showing me the good things and gently showing me the areas where I could have been better – areas where I was listening to the voices of the world, rather than His.
He shows me the areas where I had a blatant disregard for His voice. This haunts me, but it is the times when He shows me where I failed to act out of fear that haunt me even more. These are not times where I should have committed some heroic act like saving people from a burning building, but they are times where all I needed to do was gently open the door to engage a person in some way with God, but failed to do so out of fear. I realize the fear is personal. Will I get yelled at? Will the person just roll their eyes? Will the person see through me, and see a scared little kid? No. It’s something else that I can’t pinpoint in the moment.
In this daydream I think about the people whom I have had the opportunity to encounter and failed to engage in some way. The list starts off detailed, and then becomes very broad. Some of the people who come to mind are:
- The person that cuts my hair
- The cashier at the grocery store
- The mother in the mall with a screaming baby
- The people who I walk by on the street
- The nursing home that I drive by everyday
- The neighborhood I drive through every day to get to my house
- The people who suffered a tragedy being interviewed on the local news
- The people who stare at the same moon that I do when I let my dog out at night
The daydream continues and God asks me, “What were you afraid of that kept you from engaging these people, even in the smallest of ways?” Then the answer that I was unable to pinpoint before comes to me. I answer, “I was afraid of failing you.” God replies, “My child, I wasn’t asking you to singlehandedly save the person. I asked you to simply be a reflection of me. All I wanted you to do is help them open the door a little bit, and allow the Holy Spirit to enter in as gentle as a breeze.”
As this daydream comes to an end, I am refocused on what God asks of me. I’ve known it all along, but I am reminded that everyone I meet is an opportunity for them and for me. It is an opportunity for us to come together as brothers and sister in Christ to help each other open the door a little further and be filled with the Holy Spirit.